Official

I officially have Adult Onset Epilepsy.

How do I feel about this? I suppose I'm glad it's not any of the other things that could have been causing my symptoms. I think I'm adjusting so easily because so much of my life has already been spent dealing with chronic conditions, and because my siblings cope with it too. It helps that so many people have been supportive, and that I have the silver lining of that free bus pass to hold on to.

But mostly it sucks. I hate that I have yet another thing wrong with me. I hate that I'm so vulnerable now to my own body's idiosyncrasies. I hate that I have to take more tablets every day "for my own good". And I hate how accepting I am of it, as an admittance of how trained and wired my mind has become to Life screwing me over yet again.

Life that was already kinda fuzzy around the edges from the sleepiness caused by my antidepressants has been made worse by my antiepileptics. I'm back to that state I was in over the summer, having to sleep late and take naps in order to remain coherent while awake.

The good things that have happened have all been based around my fibre-addiction. I finished my Rusalka Cowl, and it's wonderfully warm. I went to the p/Hop in Glasgow and - asides from coming home with a smashing haul of yarn - I got to thus spend time with Shae and Lori (and meet the amazing Kia the Ocecat). Fibre-y parcels have been arriving regularly, as Secret Santas and Christmas ordering (I've been shopping on behalf of my family this year!) have been delivered. And I've been introduced to Livestream and Blogtalkradio through Namaste Farms - two venues of amazingly interactive learning.

In other news I'm jumping through the hoops of blood tests again to see how I'm doing one year on from being put on iron tablets. And I'll be getting new spectacles as of next week.

Icky, Grotty, Tired

This morning, the biggest fit I've had so far.

This afternoon, getting to meet my big bro's current partner while struggling with stuffiness.

This evening, full blown cold.

I am utterly exhausted. Please someone bring me new batteries.

Pretty waves on the Rusalka Cowl

In other news, I'm almost finished my Rusalka Cowl, and I spun a ginormous skein of yarn on the new CS2.

Remember, that bobbin holds a kilo!

A massive 510g skein!

 Now I'm going to suck some Strepsils and drink some warm tea.

New Wheel! So Shiney!

Isn't she beautiful?

Isn't she perfect?

Isn't she shiney?

Unwaxed bobbin parts on left for comparison.

She bloody well better be! This is nearly TWO WEEKS! of sanding, waxing, polishing, primping and preening. But she's so, so lovely. I can't wait to spin on her!
 

2nd Coat...

Yesterday I started the second coat of wax on the CS2. Unfortunately for me, the 2 coats are noticeably nicer than 1 coat. If it hadn’t been, I could have ducked out of doing more! sigh Waxing continues today.

I don’t think I’ll have the energy to do the three coats on the whole thing though - probably just the treadles and the parts that get the most “touching” during use.

Country Spinner Mark 2 Update

My CS2 and accompanying fluff arrived on Tuesday. I spent Tuesday-Thursday sanding and Friday-Sunday (this evening) waxing. And...

I FINALLY FINISHED WAXING IT!

That is, the first coat.

I’m so tired, and tomorrow I have the dentists AND an MRI. :-( Since it arrived on Tuesday all I’ve done in my free time is work on the wheel. I have to keep reminding myself that the effort I’m expending now will be worth it, and comparing the part I’m working on with my Traddy so that I think “Yup, still prefer the wax finish over the oil.”

I’ll take tomorrow off from the wheel. I’ll have my crochet with me for travelling and waiting-rooms. And when I get home I’ll just watch telly or read for a bit.

The ginormous bobbin is being left until after the wheel is assembled so I can have photos showing how the wax changes the raw wood, and will probably just get the one coat of beeswax for now.

The good news is that I can now judge that I’ll have enough beeswax in the tin to do the three coats I originally wanted. Whether or not I’ll have the spoons to do that remains to be seen.

Have some photos...

End of Autumn

There is a bush in the garden, the name of which I can never remember. It has clusters of tiny white flowers and small pointed leaves. At the start of autumn its leaves slowly turn gold. Suddenly, you'll notice that the top of the shrub has turned red. And then one day, usually around Samhain, you go outside and almost all the leaves will have dropped off overnight. All my life, that has signalled the end of any kind of warm weather. Other trees and plants might continue to boast amber hues, but the colour seems half-lie after that. This morning the leaves had dropped, and Mum and I spent what few daylight hours there were trying to get the last of the plants in. They should have been long-since in, and the bulbs besides, but the wet, miserable weather kept up from the garden. My big task today was getting the two clematis in. Mum physically lacks the strength and balance to weild a spade now, and the clay claggy soil was waterlogged. The spots we wanted them in were long-term "lawn" spots too. The sum meaning that I had to dig a much bigger hole than you'd imagine a clematis would need, and in the worst conditions. However, they now have a chance of surviving even our scheduled bitter winter.

Tomorrow I finally have a psychology appointment. I asked for help originally in December/January, and was assessed in March. I finally caved to the antidepressants in May. And at the start of November I'll hopefully get the help I need.

Since October was my birthday month, Ravelry has been amazing! At the start of the month I recieved two patterns, one for the Rusalka Cowl, which I'm half-way through crocheting in a lovely warm aran wool in cream, and one for the Belinda Vest. I started chatting to the Raveler who sent the vest pattern and when she discovered I had yet to obtain an aran weight yarn for the pattern, she offered me one she hadn't a use for. It arrived a week before my birthday - a lovely hazy soft purple - along with a birthday card! On the actual day of my birthday, asides from being overwhelmed by good wishes, I recieved an entire e-book of patterns containing two of the shawl patterns in the top of my wish list! The other two patterns (also for shawls) are beautiful too. Once my vest and cowl are finished for me to snuggle down in this winter, I shall have fun selecting which lace yarns from my stash will be lucky enough to be worked up!

On my birthday I had a lovely quiet day. All the exciting stuff (my usual trip through to Glasgow) was conducted the previous week so that I might attend the Glasgow School of Yarn. So it was nice to know that I had nothing to do. No laundry or chores, no appointments, no babysitting. Mum had to go out and I sat crocheting with the telly for a bit and then the critters and I went for a lovely nap in the living room. Mum came back with a birthday bouquet of yellow roses which have delighted me every time I catch sight of their sunny fanfare. We had fish-n-chips for tea and instead of a cake we had a huge strawberry tart each. I made Mum sing the birthday song. It was a good day for turning 28.

More twitches today. Including a rather uncomfortable total upper torso twitch. Mum was there for that one and reminded me what my sisters said - not to fight it. I made myself relax and it soon passed but my neck is a bit painful from where I was resisting at first. :-(

And my computer's wifi is still down, hence the absense of any photos from the last few weeks. Hopefully will get it up and running again before the new wheel arrives!

Country Spinner Mark 2!

That's my order in, all official and proper! It's not the most expensive thing I've ever bought, but it came quite close! I will be one of the first people in the UK to own the Mark 2 - so very exciting on several levels.

I have to wait a couple of weeks for delivery as the distributor won't get the wheel to my supplier till the end of the week and it'll be about Wednesday next week that it leaves them. When it arrives though it'll have company! 500g of assorted dyed merino, 300g of dyed alpaca, a new click bearing for Ai my Traddy, and a packet of needle-felting needles! And I'll be getting the lot of it for LESS than the advertised price of the Country Spinner on its own! Can't beat a Fifer for tracking down a bargain.

More "twitches" today but not a full seizure. So that's good.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I've already recieved a fair few of my presents and cards, but I'm still looking forward to cake at dinnertime. Yes, I'm 28 and I still get birthday cake. I intend to have birthday cake even when I'm 120 and they have to blend it and give me a straw to eat it. :P

Epilepsy and Spinning Wheels

As some of you know, I've been in the process of being tested for epilepsy. I've had a number of absenses (being termed "episodes" by the doctors until it's official) which we're trying to keep track of and some slight judderyness when tired, but so far that was it.

On the other side of the story I’ve been toying with the idea of getting an Ashford Country Spinner to compliment my Ashford Traddy… well… pretty much ever since the announcement from Ashford that they were going to release the Mark 2. Then I got my birthday monies early and decided to take the plunge and start the ordering process. But I was still feeling a little guilty about spending so much on something I just “wanted” rather than “needed”.

However, today I had my first “definate” seizure. :-( I’ve been having absenses for a while now but I had never noticed anything seizure-like. Today I had one in the kitchen while my younger sister (also epileptic) was visiting. My whole body jerked and the cup I was holding went flying. The family made me sit down and I promptly burst into tears. Lil’sis hugged me (which is INCREDIBLELY unusual - she’s not at ALL huggy) and later (after I’d calmed down) informed me that my arms continued to twitch and jerk the whole time I was crying. Between the seizure and the emotional outbreak I spent the rest of today exhausted.

I also stopped feeling the least bit guilty about blowing that cash on a second wheel.

So properly saying “Yay!” now, and on Monday when the shop I want to order from opens again I’ll complete the order process. I won’t get it for my birthday on Tuesday, but at least I’ll know it’s on its way.

Oops

I have so many things I want to do and talk about and no energy to do any of it. My oops is that after the PF Camp I got caught up in the Tour de Fleece and then Ravellenics and then we got a puppy and I've just been so.... tired. So I'm trying to get back to blogging before I run out of year! :-) Look forward to more updates soon, including puppy photos.

PF Camp Scotland 2012

Back from camp, finished catching up, and now to write up the whole weekend for the benefit of all and sundry.

On Thursday I was collected by Steve and we decided to keep things simple. So I brought the bare minimum of stuff and kipped in Steve's tent. One of my hessian bags took the box of spindles, braids of fibre, and the tupperware with my minimised selection of jewellery. I had no plans to have a stall, but if I don't have the shinies it's guaranteed someone will ask for them! I spun while he drove and we made it to Perth where we were staying over at Louise's place again. Little William has gotten so big! And still such the charmer.

We had fish and chips for tea. During the evening chatter, Steve reached into his bag and produced a present for me - a Saxon lead spindle whorl he'd found on a dig twenty years previously! I was thrilled. I piece of history that I could instantly relate to.

The next morning we picked up our camp groceries and started the drive up to Moray. I discovered a cunning spinning bowl in an upturned soda can...

... and delighted in the usual drive-by scenery of the Highlands...

Spinning may have been involved. ;-)

We got to Inchberry and set up - or Steve set up while I went on a nice long circuit of greetings hugs, followed by tracking down a suitable stick from the woods for my Saxon whorl, and tested its spinning prowess.

That night there was a campfire and old friends caught up while new friends got to know each other. And I spun while talking to people and highly impressed everyone, natch. The one other spinner had brought her drop spindle and a bag of her lovingly gathered "blown" fleece, and her carders. I was able to give her some tips on carding, and showed her the potential of her spindle with some practice. I hope she felt encouraged, and not that I was being mouthy.

The next day was the majority of the talks and workshops. My big ordeal was the spinning workshop that I'd been planning since I somehow agreed to do it. Only I was supposed to have 4 other spinners there with their spindles. Three of them hadn't been able to attend and the forth just had one bottom whorl, so the spindle situation, even with all of mine out and going, was a little rough. About half the assembled could spin at any one time. This actually worked out okay because the people who were just there for a giggle had left by the time I pulled out the fun coloured silk-blend fluff!

I made a point of explaining and showing how easy it was to make a DIY spindle, and everyone who wanted some was given fluff to take away and get them started. I was particularly impressed by the speedy progress some folks showed, and especially by the rapid signs of addiction my friend Charli-Ann revealed, when she "borrowed" my midi-turk and made this!

She had managed to snaffle quite a bit of the fluff and proceeded to spin it up into a rather artistic colour-change thick-and-thin single, and then quizzed me on how to set it! I think I felt teachers pride about that.

My favourite Ravenstonz was there, and sporting my newly-completed Critron shawl I was especially interested in the shawl pins.

My favourite was this copper penanular, featuring a couple of cute beads. I've set myself a challenge to try and make something similar by the Bruce Festival!

I didn't get any raffle tickets (trying to be good!) but Martine wound up with a fistful of winning tickets and was giving them away! I lucked into one and chose this lovely smudge-fan. It might wind up a cat toy but I plan to try and keep it nice!

On the Sunday we packed up and were headed home when Steve spotted a sign for Pictish Stones that he'd never spotted before. They had been beside an old church and had been moved into the church entryway to protect them from the elements.

They were beautiful, though the one just peaking out from the left had already suffered quite a lot from weathering. The locks I'm spinning there were VERY local, and VERY fresh!

Just up the road from the stones, a couple had been sheering their hobby flock. I made Steve pull over and I was invited into the field to watch the process and chat. It was utterly fascinating to me and erm... I may have come home with a fleece...

2.5kg of texel-cross for the princely sum of £2.10 (the change from Steve's pocket) - which was still far better than the shocking 65p a fleece the lovely couple get from the Wool Board! It was delightful though. I got to inspect the sheep, pick the fleece I wanted, and experiance it so fresh from the sheeps warmth that it was still wet with lanolin! My sheep was called Tiny, as she'd been an early lamb, and had barely been bigger than the lady's hands when born! Tiny was anything BUT when the fleece came off her! Her locks are lovely and silky, with a nice crimp. Tried to photograph, but it didn't come out well.

Then we headed back to Fife. I had finished the spin I spent most of the camp on during the Saturday night. I almost didn't as I was ready to stop when the light started going. But Peggy pulled out her windup  torch and spent at least 15minutes working the handle so I could finish the last little puff of fibre! So Sunday morning saw me start the next one! I must have been more tired from all the excitement than I realised though, because I hadn't spun much when all of a sudden Steve was telling me we were in Fife, and the spindle had drooped into my lap!

It was a very awesome weekend and my Mum now keeps commenting on how much I'm smiling around the house! Thank you to everyone who made it so wonderful!

Spinning and Irises

The yellow flag irises in the garden have flowered. Every year they spill their scent into the garden, embroidering themselves onto my summertime memories since I was a child. They've only just opened, and the scent isn't as heady as it will be in a few days, so I best enjoy them sitting close, spinning on my cocobolo russian.

No Focus

I've have no clarity of mind at all today, no ability to focus on anything for more than the most fleeting moment. I haven't stopped feeling tired all week. Can't even concentrate enough to write a decent blog entry.

Purina One Campaign & Spinning Goodies

Today I started Pyro on her Purina One trial. I applied for this a couple of months ago and last week her pack arrived with three weeks worth of food. To be honest I wasn't sure if Pyro would take to it at all since she can be a bit fussy in what she likes. Thinking to give it the best chances I held off her breakfast till lunchtime. I needn't have worried, it was gone within a couple of hours. She came begging to me for dinner too, which is a bit unusual as well. I think the real test of this will be if she maintains her ethusiasm, since all three weeks are the same flavour!

I have some vouchers for money off it that came with the campaign pack too, so if any of the cat-people out there are interested, drop me a line.

In other news I got not one, but two amazing spinning parcels today! The first was from Enid Ashcroft bearing two tibetans. A african blackwood and black walnut standard tibetan and a cocobolo and african blackwood pocket tibetan! The second is very cute, in the manner of tiny things, but still completely functional.

The other parcel was my Spindle Candy Spinning Club prize from last month, all the way from Corgihill Farm in the States! It's even more beautiful in person! Included was a wee surprise, a sample twist of another fibre and some american candies!

I am waiting on getting some photos from Saturday and then I will write up about the PF Conference. But it was very fun, and very tiring!

Sodds Law

My plans for this evening involved watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones, an inventory check, and posting up coyly teasing photographs of stock for the Saturday Conference bunch on facebook. What actually happened was sorting out last minute stallholder changes and taking care of a violently ill kitty. Poor Pyro is left not knowing which way is up and I am left with a rather long to-do list for tomorrow and a rather denuded nest bed.

Third day on Sertraline. Finding it difficult to sleep well, resulting in general tiredness. No idea if there's a connection though.

Haven't spun at all today. Very strange.

The Sea of Coping

I am a very big fan of analogies and metaphors. They allow the competent user to explain in easily understood terminology experiances for which there is no true description. Since there are a lot of things in my life that defy description (:-D) my facility to apply metaphors is employed frequently. Today the metaphor regards depression.

A perfectly healthy person stands in the shallows of the Sea of Coping. Some might be further out than others, but you stand there and the tide moves in an out and the waters lap up and down, sometimes barely foaming over your feet, other times a swell might sweep up to your chest. In really hard times a wave might knock you on your ass and leave you sputtering in its retreat, struggling so that you're standing again when the next wave comes.

A person with depression has been caught by a wave and lost their footing. They can't find the bottom to stand, and the water in their eyes prevents them from seeing the shore. They have to tread water or drown. You want to swim to safety, but if you strike out in the wrong direction you know you'll exhaust yourself and just move to a place of greater danger. You find yourself unable to move, desperately treading water.

Into this metaphor I introduce the Therapist. A good Therapist is like a lifeguard. They see you struggling, apply any emergency first aid, and calm you down, before helping you back to the beech and wrapping you in a towel. The key in making best use of them is being able to calm down and stop struggling when help reaches you.

Antidepressants are like driftwood. Some are small and barely of any use. Others big enough to climb on like a raft. The hope is that it'll give you a chance to catch your breath, ease your cramps, and blink the water out of your eyes so you can find your own way back to the shore. But there's no guarantee, no safety line, no helper to watch over you and give you encouragement. And if you still can't see the shore, you still don't know which way to swim.

I really didn't want to resort to antidepressants. Honestly, I'm afraid of them. They are handed out so freely by doctors, most of whom don't bother to address the underlying issues that have you sputtering in the waves. When you take them, the chemicals are in control of your moods, not you. There is no way to tell if what you're feeling is because of the pill you swallowed or because you're genuinely happy or sad. What kind of life can you lead if you don't even know your own heart?

But I've been treading water for so long. I've tried and waited and hoped for a therepist, a lifeguard to lead me back to shore, but I'm tired, and I'm scared. I'm more scared of drowning than I am of the meds. So yesterday I gave my consent and I grabbed hold of the driftwood.

Lets hope soon I see the shore.

Sometimes I feel quite certain that the only anchors for my sanity are Pyro and my spinning. I think most of my friends, being exceptionally intelligent individuals themselves, will appreciate the value of an activity that allows you to completely suspend your thinking. Spinning allows me to live in the moment, totally focusing on just the spinning, but also gives me the freedom to add in additional stimuli if I want to keep my brain engaged.

My Spindle Club goal this month was to complete some works-in-progress to clear my spindles prior to the upcoming Tour de Fleece starting at the end of June. I had three Spindle Club targets, and one week into May I find myself sadly distracted from working on them. I find myself using as an excuse that I will be taking one or more of the projects with me to the Scottish Pagan Federation Conference on Saturday and thus can afford to slack off a bit now. I dislike that sort of lacksidasical attitude in myself. So I decided to take weekly photos to document my progress, more as a guilt-trigger than anything else.

My three targets are a silk hankie project pack from Colorimetry, being spun on Iroko 色子. Beaujolais from Wooliebullie on etsy, being spun on Darcy and the walnut russian. And some natural grey massam being spun on the latest, a blackwood and spalted beech midi turk. All featured spindles are from Enid Ashcroft.

At the PF Conference on Saturday I'm planning on taking along my current stock of jewellery, along with the handspun skeins I've completed over the last six months. At least, that's the plan. I still have no idea how I'm going to price the handspun. The problem with such offerings is that charging according to time spent would cause the price to be astronomical. Charging according to the cost of the fibre would be far too little. If you price per metre, then what factor do you use to differentiate between lace and aran? I've been thinking about it for quite some time and still don't have much of an answer. I may well end up putting an "offers" label on the basket!

Today I made the mistake of getting into a discussion about the crafts myself and a fellow Raveller pursue. I started listing my pursuits and... lets just say it took a while. :-)

In other news, the April 2012 Prize for the Spindle Candy Self Imposed Spinning Club was 10oz of Corgi Hill Farm 50/50 bfl/silk in the limited edition colourway Spring Fling. The glowing jewel-like colours tempted the participating spinners every time we opened a new thread-page, shining at the top of our screens. But the Spinning Gods (and the RNG) smiled on myself and now this luscious prize will be winging its way to my doorstep.

Thankfully my spinning schedule is full for the next couple of months, so I have the leisure to carefully consider how best to show this beauty off. I'm so chuffed!

Dysfunctional Spinner

There's often talk on Ravelry's spinning forums about a poorly-made or requiring-repair spinning wheel or spindle, and not so much talk about the spinners themselves being dysfunctional. I mention this because a few days ago I strained my left shoulder quite badly. For two days I had a diet of painkillers and hot compresses until the shoulder healed and during that time my spinning capability went down drastically. I couldn't spin suspended at all, and I lacked the motion to use a wheel. I could only spin supported, and then on my slowest tibetan, with big rest breaks. But having the ability to do that was a lifesaver for a spinning-addict like me.

It really made me think. I don't just have quantity in my spinning life - I have variety. If I sustain an injury that might make it impossible to use a wheel, I can use a spindle. If I can't bear the weight of a drop-spindle, I have a choice of supported spindles. I have russians and tibetans and turkish spindles. I have my wheel. And I have a range of fibres in a range of preps. When I think that it was not so very long ago at all that I had just one beginners topwhorl and a bag of undyed tops I feel astounded at how far I have come and how much I have accomplished.

Spinning isn't just something I do for pleasure. It's a part of my daily life. And having the options to always keep it a part of my daily life is very precious to me.

Wash-N-Whack Days

For the non-spinners, wash-n-whack is what you do with a skein of yarn after you've spun and plyed it. You plunge the skein first into a basin of very hot soapy water and then into a basin of very cold water. This shocks the fibres and finishes the yarn

I love wash-n-whack days. It feels like the culmination of my efforts. Today there was a 19g mini-skein of natural brown corriedale 2ply, a 4oz skein of rainbow leicester longwool single, and a 100g skein of respun Hipknits silk in chocolate cherries. That last one was a freebee from its original owner who was frustrated over the breakages it had which I feel is because it wasn’t spun tightly enough for a single-ply yarn. So respun it all together and then set it with the other two skeins. Good thing I decided to set it too because it leaked dye terribly! 2 hot rinses and 4 cold before it got to a point I was happy with! Now they’re all drying and I feel very accomplished.

Since there is plenty of day left and since I've already got the wheel out, I think I'll continue on and see about spinning up the 2nd Gotland batt Malinky sent me from Sweden. The first one is already finished. I love spinning batts but they do take up a fair bit space, which is somewhat at a premium in my room right now!

Luceteer

The lucet has been out again today. Actually, it's been in overdrive. Started out by finishing the full length of embroidery silk I was doing last month. Then I worked up a bracelet length in the handspun corriedale I did yesterday on the new Mama Turk from Enid Ashcroft. I played with clasp designs for a while, not settled on one I like yet. Then I went through two shorter lengths of embroidery silk. And now I'm working on more handspun, this one a random minihank made up of leftover singles in navy english wool and lime green acrylic. I'm thinking once I've luceted this one I'll try luceting it over and see what it looks like.

New In The Shop

So, like many crafters, I find it chronically difficult to sell the things I make. Not the actual selling, but the photographing, pricing, and listing. Being able to say that I listed FOUR items in the etsy shop today is a bit of an achievement! Lets hope I can keep it up.

Stash

I am trying not to buy stash, bid on stash, win stash, or in any other way accumulate stash until the stash I have fits in it's darn boxes!

The one who dies with the most stash wins.

I don't feel guilty about my stash, because I know there are people with bigger stashes.

I have come to terms with the fact that hiding three bags of yarn in the bottom of my wardrobe does not count as "not adding to my stash".

But spinning fibre takes up more room in my stash than the same amount of yarn!

I'm saving up for the Zombie Apocalypse when there won't be any chances to get more stash.

I've picked out my pattern, now to go stashdiving.

What I love most about Ravelry is that I can list all my stash in one place where I can see it and keep track of it. That is, when I remember to list it.

Stash. It's not a term, it's a lifestyle.

Cough and Spindling

I only developed this cough on Friday and it's only Sunday now but I feel like I've been coughing for weeks. My body is completely exhausted, mostly because I can't sleep properly at night. And the motions required to use my spinning wheel or suspended spindles are a little uncomfortable, occasioning another coughing fit. So I've been working on supported spindles. Specifically, one of the new russians, the ever so handsome cocobolo who is now named Mr Darcy. :-D

Sunshiney Spinning

I've spent the last two days out in the garden spinning. I wanted to get my Leicester Longwool rainbow batts spun up before the end of the month and I have! Two whole batts, spun! And it has been so nice to be sat in the sunshine, no music or excessive noise, just the drone of the bees and the background chatter of the birds. Today my neighbour's curiosity overcame her and she came over for a chat and I brought down some of my spindles to give a wee lesson. She didn't really have the patience but was very chuffed at the little bit she did spin!

Sunshiney Failure

Today I made the most of the glorious spring sunshine and took a whole bunch of photos, mostly of things I had been wanting to ebay. It was actually quite enjoyable being out in the sunshine with Pyro, which is a good thing because I got back in and though to check and see what similar items were fetching on ebay, only to realise there is currently a glut of them online and no real market.

Oh well.

Slip-up

There's me getting cocky - I feel like I'm doing fine and stop breaking up the day for a bit and the next thing I know my pc's telling me it's the 24th and I'm not really aware of doing much. I know we were looking after Niece3 because she was here on Ostara and I gave her Ostara chocs from my altar - she was delighted by the baby bunny choc!

Good news is that I am finally getting a psych evaluation next Thursday... or is that this Thursday? And I renewed my domain-name-hosting. That was two big to-do's that finally got done. Spoons. I need more spoons.

My Ostara plans more or less went by-the-by though. I just didn't have the headspace for that kind of devotional.

Processing Time

Today is my second day of breaking the day into hours. Yesterday really helped, I feel like I got a lot more done. Still not very aware of passing time beyond this hour and this task, but it's progress, right?

Today the "chores" continue. I want to get my room tidied. I want to list unwanted things on ebay so hopefully someone will buy them and they will vanish out into the ether. And I want to get jewellery listed on etsy. I'm also thinking about listing my handspun on etsy too, but I'm still kind of attached to it. And this fundraising needs to pay for renewal on my domain name and fees for the upcoming PF conference. Really, if I could even get as far as just photographing the jewellery I've got and posting proper photos on facebook with their prices, I would at least be getting somewhere. I could also post photos on facebook of the handspun under Dreamweaver Designs and see if there's interest? And of the stitchmarkers I've been making, to see if that generates any interest too. And getting any of that done when my mind feels like it's swaddled in cotton wool is nearly impossible. Spoon-theory can apply to many different things, but for me it's "headspace" - literally finding the space in my head to focus on something.

Today my head has been several kinds of fuzzy. One of the effects of depression that I can't really cope with is loosing my ability to concentrate. It affects everything, even my perception of time passing. Today was not a good day for this. I wanted to get so much done today and I pretty much did none of it. But I couldn't really tell you what I did do.

Perhaps if I break up the day into hour-long segments and kept track of what I do during each segment, with an alarm to break into my fugue, it might help? I think it's worth trying?

Fairy Godmothers DO Exist!

This morning the postie delivered for Disney. :-D

One of the many amazing ladies at Ravelry happens to be... get this... a fairy godmother in training. I kid you not. How amazing is that? And while browsing in a local vintage shop, this particular Fairy Godmother stumbled across a great little find and promptly decided to perform a little Random Act of Kindness. And this morning I recieved all the way from Florida two hand-painted, hand-sewn furoshiki and the coolest holographic card...

Thank you so much Teri! This has really made my day!

Blog Revival

So, umm... I'm really bad at keeping my blog updated? Not a very good excuse for a years absense, huh? Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I only remembered it was here because of Ravelry. I need another space to spam with photos and drivel about what I've been up to.

Latest "New Craft" - luceting! I am now a luceteer! :-D I will never use a knitting nancy again. This was picked up at Stitches! at the SECC Glasgow on Saturday. I took along the wooden lucet I got myself in Glasgow (and which, after two whole evenings, I managed to coax a measley 1inch of cord from) and was quickly informed by Ziggy the resident Luceteer that it was too big, designed more for rope than cord. So after taking part in the luceting Make and Take I decided to treat myself to a full Introduction to Luceting set, which had everything I'd need to go into advanced luceting. But right now I'm just enjoying making the pretty cord with the DMC embroidery thread it came with.

For anyone interested in picking up luceting for themselves, Ziggy will be on Create and Craft TV on April 12th. I expect it to be interesting as he's quite the character!