How do I feel about this? I suppose I'm glad it's not any of the other things that could have been causing my symptoms. I think I'm adjusting so easily because so much of my life has already been spent dealing with chronic conditions, and because my siblings cope with it too. It helps that so many people have been supportive, and that I have the silver lining of that free bus pass to hold on to.
But mostly it sucks. I hate that I have yet another thing wrong with me. I hate that I'm so vulnerable now to my own body's idiosyncrasies. I hate that I have to take more tablets every day "for my own good". And I hate how accepting I am of it, as an admittance of how trained and wired my mind has become to Life screwing me over yet again.
Life that was already kinda fuzzy around the edges from the sleepiness caused by my antidepressants has been made worse by my antiepileptics. I'm back to that state I was in over the summer, having to sleep late and take naps in order to remain coherent while awake.
The good things that have happened have all been based around my fibre-addiction. I finished my Rusalka Cowl, and it's wonderfully warm. I went to the p/Hop in Glasgow and - asides from coming home with a smashing haul of yarn - I got to thus spend time with Shae and Lori (and meet the amazing Kia the Ocecat). Fibre-y parcels have been arriving regularly, as Secret Santas and Christmas ordering (I've been shopping on behalf of my family this year!) have been delivered. And I've been introduced to Livestream and Blogtalkradio through Namaste Farms - two venues of amazingly interactive learning.
In other news I'm jumping through the hoops of blood tests again to see how I'm doing one year on from being put on iron tablets. And I'll be getting new spectacles as of next week.
My thoughts are with you - this'll be a trying time.
ReplyDeleteIf you need anything, just give me a shout.
Also, damn fine looking knitwear you have there!